Roni's Journal

Sunday, 3 December 2000

A day of silence

During the afternoon recorded the chorus to my song, spent about 4 hours on it. Was depressed, thought a lot about how everyone is getting some message across, and how the message is usually so different from what I expected them to see. Now, with dad, he just acts, then thinks about what he'd done, but won't admit to making a mistake, and so it's stalemate. But mum - mum could at least be more patient. She just asks me if I wanna talk. No, I don't. So a few hours later she just comes to my room to tell me that if I don't want them here, then they'll move out. Very tactful. Yucks.

Then this message from Galya got me thinking. Then I suddenly saw what she was thinking. It's frustrating, this jealousy.

First, didn't she say she was liberal, and second, didn't I say I was monogamous? And why now..?



When I went online, all I found was one sentence from Galya. Heh. That was a reply to a long long message I sent yesterday about how I miss her. Mark, this sentence had nothing to do with us!

I really needed to talk to someone. I hadn'd talked to anyone - online or in real life - for two whole days!

But there was nobody there.



I was in the kitchen when dad came out of his room and started talking to me. I wasn't in the mood, but I got my message across to him - that he did wrong and I'm not going to suffer because of his changes of mood.

Then I went to the forest. It was 21:00. Dad went with me. For the first hour I was silent, he just talked occasionally, I kept thinking. In the end he admitted that he makes mistakes too and that he won't disconnect me from the net, and blah blah. In the last hour of our walk, I got less upset, and we talked about relationships and stuff. Hmm.

Now look what mum's done. There was no conflict between me and her, and now when the scandal with dad has calmed down, mum and I don't communicate.

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